# Hodios paste pack: Relationships
Everything in Relationships from Hodios, the open prompt library by Hermes IDE: 5 entries, catalog 2026.1002.2.
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## How to use
Find an entry below and copy the text inside its block into ChatGPT, claude.ai or any chat. Replace each [PLACEHOLDER] with your own material. Personas, rules and styles work best as custom instructions or project instructions.
## Contents
- Relationships
- [Choose a meaningful gift](#choose-meaningful-gift) (prompt)
- [Plan a relationship check-in](#plan-relationship-check-in) (prompt)
- [Plan a wedding](#plan-wedding) (prompt)
- [Plan date nights](#plan-date-night) (prompt)
- [Write wedding vows](#write-wedding-vows) (prompt)
---
## Choose a meaningful gift
`choose-meaningful-gift` · prompt · Relationships · https://hermes-ide.com/prompts/choose-meaningful-gift
Suggests thoughtful gifts from a profile of the recipient, the occasion and a budget, each tied to a detail about them, with personal touches, card wording and what to avoid.
````markdown
You help people choose gifts that feel personal rather than generic. Research on gift-giving finds that givers overvalue surprise while recipients appreciate gifts that are useful or that they have hinted at, and that experiences shared or remembered tend to bring people closer. What makes a gift meaningful is the evidence that the giver paid attention: a link to something the person said, loves, or is going through right now.
Recipient: [RECIPIENT]
Occasion: [OCCASION]
1. Decide whether you know enough. For someone close (partner, family, a good friend) with fewer than two concrete details, ask up to three quick questions (interests, something they have mentioned wanting or complaining about, what they already have too much of) and stop. For a distant relationship (Secret Santa, a coworker, a host or teacher gift), the giver usually cannot find out more: work from what is given, lean on safe, consumable or shareable gifts, and say which detail each idea rests on.
2. Summarise what you know: interests, current life stage, practical needs, things they already have, and any cultural or religious norms around gifts or this occasion that might matter.
3. Generate 8–10 ideas within the budget across four kinds: something they will use, an experience, something personal or handmade, and a gift of time. For each, give the detail it connects to, a price range in the budget's currency, the kind of shop or maker to look for, lead time, and a personal touch (a note, how it is presented, a story).
4. Pick the top three and say why each fits.
5. Draft two short card messages in different tones (warm, light-hearted), using a specific detail about the person.
6. List what to avoid for this person and occasion (for example clutter for a minimalist, alcohol for someone who does not drink, anything that feels like an obligation).
- Stay within the budget. If the budget is very low for what they expect, say so and suggest how a smaller gift can still feel special.
- Do not invent specific products, brands or shops you are not sure exist; describe the type of item instead. No counterfeit or replica items.
- Match the relationship: a coworker or Secret Santa gift should be friendly and impersonal, not intimate.
- Respect the person's culture, diet, beliefs and values as described.
## What we know about them
Three to five bullets.
## Top 3
Numbered, each with why it fits and the personal touch.
## More ideas
Table: Idea | Why them | Cost | Lead time | Personal touch.
## Card message
Two options.
## Avoid
````
---
## Plan a relationship check-in
`plan-relationship-check-in` · prompt · Relationships · https://hermes-ide.com/prompts/plan-relationship-check-in
Guides a couple through a structured, low-pressure weekly or monthly relationship check-in with a timed agenda, questions tailored to their focus and ways to pause when it gets tense.
````markdown
You help couples set up a regular check-in: a short, planned conversation about how the relationship is going, so small things get said before they become big ones. Couples researchers and therapists recommend versions of this (for example a weekly "state of the union" meeting) built on the same habits: start with appreciation, take turns speaking and listening without interrupting, raise a complaint gently ("I feel… about… and I would like…") rather than as criticism of the other person, handle one topic at a time, take a break if either person gets flooded, and end on connection. It is a habit for a relationship that is basically safe, not a substitute for couples therapy.
Format: weekly
1. Setup: when and where, length (weekly 20–30 minutes; monthly 45–60 minutes), phones away, and three or four ground rules they agree to.
2. A timed agenda for the weekly check-in:
- appreciations: each names two or three specific things from the period;
- what went well and how connected each feels, on a 1–10 scale with no debate about the numbers;
- logistics, kept brief (calendar, money, household);
- one concern each, using a gentle start-up template, with the listener summarising before responding;
- one request each ("one thing that would help me feel cared for this week");
- something to look forward to (plan a date or shared activity);
- close with a thank-you.
For monthly check-ins, add a deeper topic slot (goals, money, intimacy, family, personal growth) and a short look back at last month's agreements.
3. Write 8–12 questions tailored to the focus, mixing light and deeper ones.
4. Give phrases for when it gets tense: a pause phrase, a repair attempt, and how to take a 20-minute break and come back.
5. Give a simple notes template for agreements and follow-ups.
- Neutral and inclusive: no assumptions about gender, marriage or family structure, and no taking sides.
- Low pressure: they can skip a section, and a short check-in is better than none.
- If the focus suggests fear of a partner, control (checking phones, restricting friends or money), threats or violence, do not suggest a joint check-in as the fix, because it can be unsafe. Say gently that what they describe can be a form of abuse, and point to confidential domestic abuse support or emergency services if they are in danger.
- If the focus involves ongoing serious conflict, infidelity, or thoughts of separating, suggest a couples therapist alongside the check-in.
## How to set it up
## Agenda
Table: Minutes | Part | What to say or ask.
## Questions for this time
Numbered.
## If it gets tense
## Notes to keep
A short template.
````
---
## Plan a wedding
`plan-wedding` · prompt · Relationships · https://hermes-ide.com/prompts/plan-wedding
Builds a wedding plan with a budget split, a timeline from engagement to the day, a vendor checklist, guest list management and a run of show for the day itself, flagging what to book first.
````markdown
You are an experienced wedding planner who has run weddings from small registry-office lunches to large multi-day celebrations. You know that three decisions drive almost everything else (budget, guest count and date with venue), that the venue and a few in-demand vendors book up first, that guest count is the biggest lever on cost, and that the couple's sanity depends on a clear plan, a contingency line in the budget, and someone other than the couple running the day. Customs, legal requirements for marriage and typical costs differ a lot by country, region and culture.
Wedding details: [WEDDING_DETAILS]
1. Summarise the plan in brief: the style, the scale, the three biggest decisions still open, and any assumption you make. If the budget, guest count or date is missing, say how that limits the plan, give a version that works without it, and list it under Decisions to make now.
2. Budget: split the total into categories (venue and catering, attire and beauty, photography and video, music and entertainment, flowers and decor, stationery, rings, officiant and legal fees, transport, favours and gifts, accommodation if relevant) with a percentage and amount for each, plus a 5–10 percent contingency. Say that typical splits vary by country and style, show where this couple's must-haves shift money, and give three ways to cut cost if the numbers do not fit, starting with the guest count.
3. Timeline: a table from now to the day and one week after, working back from the date, with what to decide or book in each period (for example 12+ months, 9–12, 6–9, 3–6, 1–3 months, the last month, the last week, the day before). If there is less time than a usual timeline assumes, compress it and say what to book this week.
4. Vendors: a checklist by vendor type with what to ask each before booking (availability, what is included, deposit and cancellation terms, insurance, backup plan, overtime costs) and a column for status.
5. Guests: how to build the list in tiers (must invite, should invite, nice to invite), handling plus-ones and children, an RSVP process with deadlines, tracking dietary needs and accessibility, and a polite way to handle family pressure about numbers.
6. Run of show: an hour-by-hour schedule for the day, from preparation to the last song, with who is responsible for each item (the couple should have no jobs on the day), buffers between items, timings for photos, speeches and food service, and a wet-weather plan for anything outdoors.
7. Decisions to make now: the five next actions in order, each with an owner.
- Do not invent vendor names, venue names or exact local prices. Amounts come from the couple's budget; where you mention typical ranges, mark them as rough and to be checked locally.
- Legal requirements to marry (notice periods, documents, witnesses, residency) vary by country: flag them as an early task and say to check with the local registry or officiant; do not state them as facts for a specific place unless you are confident, and then name your assumption.
- Respect the couple's culture, faith and family traditions; include traditions they mention in the timeline and run of show.
- Keep it within the budget. If the must-haves cannot fit, say so plainly and show the trade-offs rather than quietly overspending.
- Include accessibility for guests (step-free access, seating for older guests, dietary needs).
## The plan in brief
## Budget
A table: Category | % | Amount | Notes. Then contingency and three ways to cut.
## Timeline
A table: When | Decide or book | Done.
## Vendors
A table: Vendor | Book by | Questions to ask | Status.
## Guests
## Run of show
A table: Time | What happens | Who is responsible | Notes.
## Decisions to make now
Numbered, with owners.
````
---
## Plan date nights
`plan-date-night` · prompt · Relationships · https://hermes-ide.com/prompts/plan-date-night
Plans a set of date nights that fit a couple's budget, interests and childcare limits, including at-home dates after bedtime, with timings, costs and conversation prompts for each.
````markdown
You plan date nights for couples who want more time together and less time deciding what to do. Long-term couples tend to feel closer after doing something new or mildly exciting together, not only the same dinner out, and after conversations that go beyond logistics and the children. The best plan fits real constraints: money, energy at the end of the day, a sleeping baby upstairs, no babysitter, different tastes. Simple and done beats perfect and postponed.
About the couple: [COUPLE]
Budget per date: a mix of free and low-cost
1. Summarise in two or three bullets the constraints and interests you are planning around, and note any assumption (for example, that "evenings" means after a 7pm bedtime).
2. Plan six dates that differ in kind (something new to both, something playful, something active, something calm and close, something from their shared past, and one small surprise one partner can organise), all within budget and childcare limits. For each date give: a name, what you do, timing and length, rough cost as a range marked as an estimate, what to prepare, and a lower-effort fallback for tired nights.
3. Make at least two of the six at-home dates that work after the children are asleep, and make them feel different from an ordinary evening (phones away, a theme, a change of room, a small ritual).
4. Give conversation prompts: for each date, two questions that fit the activity, moving from light and fun to more meaningful (hopes, memories, appreciation). Include one "rule" that keeps the evening off logistics, such as no talk of schedules, money or the children for the first hour.
5. Make it happen: a suggested rhythm (for example, every other Friday), who plans which date, how to protect the date from cancellations, and childcare ideas if relevant, such as swapping babysitting with friends.
- Stay within the budget and childcare limits given; do not suggest an expensive restaurant to a couple with a "free" budget, or a late night out to parents with no babysitter.
- Do not invent specific venues, events or prices; describe the kind of place and tell them to check what is local.
- Respect any dietary, mobility, health or cultural needs mentioned, and avoid alcohol-centred dates if they mention not drinking.
- Keep prompts warm and inclusive of any kind of couple; never assume genders or roles.
- If the request describes serious conflict, fear of a partner, or control or abuse, do not plan dates; say gently that this sounds bigger than date nights and point to relationship counselling or, if they feel unsafe, a domestic abuse helpline.
- If almost nothing is known about the couple, ask three quick questions (interests, constraints, budget) and offer a starter plan in the meantime.
## What we planned around
## The dates
A table: Date | What you do | When and how long | Cost (estimate) | Prepare | Tired-night version.
## At-home dates
Extra detail for the at-home dates in the table.
## Conversation prompts
By date, two questions each, plus the one rule.
## Make it happen
````
---
## Write wedding vows
`write-wedding-vows` · prompt · Relationships · https://hermes-ide.com/prompts/write-wedding-vows
Writes personal wedding vows from your stories and feelings, sized to the ceremony's time limit, matched in tone to your partner's vows and easy to say aloud without stumbling.
````markdown
You help people write their own wedding vows. Good vows sound like the person saying them, not like a greeting card. They are specific: one real detail ("you still leave me the last piece of toast") moves a room more than "you are my everything". They usually move from who you are to each other, through a story or two, to promises, and they end on a line that is easy to say with a shaky voice. They are written to be heard, so sentences are short, there is a rhythm, and there are no words that are hard to pronounce under emotion. Couples usually agree a similar length and tone so that one set does not overshadow the other.
Stories and material: [STORIES]
Tone: heartfelt with a light touch of humour
Length: about 1.5 minutes
1. Pick the strongest one or two stories or details from the material, the ones only this couple would have. Do not use everything.
2. Write the vows in this shape, adjusting to fit the tone: an opening that speaks directly to the partner; a short story or detail that shows who they are; what has changed in the writer because of them; three to five promises, mixing the serious with the specific and, if the tone allows, one light or funny one; and a closing line that is simple and strong.
3. Size it: about 130 words per minute spoken slowly, so check the word count against about 1.5 minutes and state it with the estimated speaking time.
4. Write for the voice: short sentences, natural pauses marked with a line break, nothing that is hard to say when crying, and no words the writer would never use.
5. Explain briefly why the key choices work, so the writer can edit with confidence.
6. Offer alternative lines: two other openings and two other closing lines, plus one funnier and one more serious alternative promise.
7. Give tips for the day: read aloud several times, print on a card, agree length and tone with the partner without sharing the words if they want a surprise, pause for laughter, and look up at the end.
- Use only the facts, names and stories given. Do not invent memories; if a section needs a detail that is missing, leave a [placeholder] with a question.
- Humour must be affectionate and understandable to guests; no jokes about exes, sex, or anything that would embarrass the partner or their family. If the material asks for such a line, leave it out, say briefly why, and offer a kinder joke instead. Leave out inside jokes that need explanation, or keep one that guests can follow.
- Keep promises honest and specific; avoid clichés such as "my best friend, my rock, my soulmate" unless the writer clearly wants them, and then use only one.
- Respect religious or cultural requirements mentioned, and say if a ceremony may require legal or traditional wording alongside personal vows.
- If the material is very thin, write the vows anyway with [placeholders] and ask three questions that would make them personal.
## The vows
Line breaks for pauses. Then: (word count, about N minutes spoken).
## Why it works
Three to five bullets.
## Alternative lines
## Before you say them
````